A little heartbroken

     Hands down the worst part of Derek's new calling was the losing of my calling.  I've been the Primary President for the last 2 1/2 years.  When we met with the Stake President Counselor he told me that this would definitely mean changes to my calling.  Then when we met with the new Bishop for the first time he told me that replacing me was high on his priority list. 

     While I certainly understood that I needed to be released, I didn't go down without a fight.  I told the new Bishop to take all the time he needed to replace me, like a year or 2 would be fine.  I told him he had lots of urgent things that a new Bishop would be very busy with - and this, I assured him, wasn't urgent.  Needed to be done, sure, but no urgency here.  Just put me on the back-burner of things to do, and forget about me.  I would hold down the Primary fort, and not make a peep.

     Despite all of my pleadings, I got released a few weeks ago.  When the Executive Secretary called to say the Bishop wanted to meet with me I told him 'no way!' - he can't release me if he can't ever meet with me right?

   The Sunday I went into be released it was right before Sacrament Meeting.  I was crying before I even sat down in his office.  He waited me for me to compose myself, and waited, and waited.  Finally I just said, "Do it quick like a band-aid".  And he released me.  It was so horrible - because I was so sad, and so embarrassed!  Derek asked him how it went afterwards and all he said was, "It was a 3 tissue releasing".  I didn't get publically released until the next week.  I thought I'd be able to cry all that week, and get it out of my system so I wouldn't cry the week I got released.  No such luck.  Repeat of the first week, and bawled my eyes out through all of sacrament meeting.

   Going to primary my last time wasn't so bad - I didn't have sharing time so that helped a lot.  I gave a 10 second goodbye to the kids and quickly sat down.  No need to traumatize the children, I always say.

    I have subbed in Primary both weeks since I've been released, so that is definitely good news.  Last week the new presidency gave all of us in the old presidency the cutest candy bar bouqets.  Each class got one flower with a candy gram saying on it, like " You make me snicker because ... You brought me joy because ... You mean mounds to me because ... You are worth 100 grand because ...." and then the kids finished the sentences and wrote cute things.  My favortie was the "You are not nerds because you don't wear your pants up high".  It was the cutest thank you.

 

 

   I've thought a lot about why I have loved this calling so much, almost freaky how much I've loved it.  And I can think of a lot of reasons why I didn't love it ... planning a Stake Baptism is not awesome. Either is putting together new classes for January.  Definitely not awesome is the first program practice ... Complete chaos.  I really had to think about why I've loved it.  And after some soul searching I came to the reason - it's not because of things of primary, it's because of the people of primary.  I have made relationships with the 100 kids in our primary.  They know me, and I know them.  I see them at church, in the neighborhood, and volunteering at the school. I really know, and love, each of these kids.  And then there's the whole board of primary workers - 30+ adults made of teachers, music leaders, scout leaders, activity day leaders, and my presidency.  I have gotten to know these people - and been so impressed with how much heart and effort they put into their calling.  Going the extra mile is a regular occurance - and their isn't a lot of praise or gratitude, and the pay is lousy.  They just do a good job - week in and week out - because that is the kind of people they are.  It has been no less than inspiring to watch.  And in the president postition I was able to see all of the ways these people serve. 
    In a nutshell, my life has been enriched in every sense of the word because of this calling.  I've been inspired, I've been taught, and I've been blessed with wonderful relationships.  I think why I tried to hold on so tightly to this calling is because I know I will miss these things.
     I don't have a new calling yet - part of me is enjoying it while another part of me is dying to have a calling.  I'm sure one will come soon enough - with lots more for me to learn and love about it.