Pine Wood Derby

The Pine Wood Derby

a.k.a. Night of Horrors

Last night was our first Pine Wood Derby. Tyler and Derek had picked out a model to make online, and then went to a friend's house who helped Tyler cut it out with his saw. Tyler sanded it, painted it, added a Batman tattoo, added wheels, and soon we had the coolest Batmobile in town. Not only was last night the Pine Wood Derby, it was also the night Tyler was going to get his Wolf Badge. This was a night I was really looking forward to. My parents came to cheer on Tyler.

The night had excitement . . . the night had promise . . . the night had some problems.

Now Derek and I are not the handiest when it comes to tools - and car making might be at the limit of our handy skills, so on the way there we really had one goal - just not to be embarrassed. We didn't need to win, we just needed to not be embarrassed. That was the whole goal of the night.

So we get to the church for the official weigh-in. Our car was too light so Derek added some weights to it. He taped the weights onto the bottom of the car with electrical tape, got it exactly 5 ounces and we were off to the races!

The gym was divided in half - for spectators and racers. To get into the 'pit' you had to have a 'pit pass' that all of the boys wore quite proudly. The races started and Derek said to me that he was worried that with the weights on the bottom he hoped Tyler's car wouldn't get high-centered down the track. "Oh that won't happen" I assured him.

Then they called Tyler's name - Derek and I were on the edge of our seats - with one goal in mind: don't get embarrassed. Off they go . . . and then his stops . . . half way down the track. The race-director-man declares a need for a pit stop so Derek can move the weights to the top of the car. So Derek goes off (calling himself Guido from Cars) to fix our Batmobile. Now the race has to stop and wait for our car because the race-director-man's brackets are on his computer and he can't skip Tyler and then come back to him. Well Derek thinks they're going on with more races, so he takes his time . . . his sweet time . . . his 'take all the time you want' time to fix the car. And the rest of us are just waiting for him to come back. The race-director-man starts telling jokes to fill this time. People start wondering what Derek is doing to this car. People start wondering where Derek went to fix this car.

Finally Derek comes back and the race is back on. Tyler puts his car back up on top and off they go . . . and Tyler wins (fastest time thus far too). So we won one heat - which wasn't even the goal, but we had lots of embarrassment which was the goal (so not really a victory). Then Tyler went on to win a few more heats - making our initial embarrassment lessen. We get through the whole race and Tyler ends up taking 5th - way better than we ever thought we'd do. Unfortunately, the story doesn't end here.

So the race is over and while they're letting siblings race their cars and getting ready for the awards I was standing at the back of the gym holding Bay. She had fallen asleep at home taking a really late nap, and when we went to Pack Night we had to wake her up and she never fully woke up. Through the races she was really clingy and kept trying to fall back asleep. So I'm standing at the back of the gym holding her, when all of the sudden - and I don't know if I heard it first or felt it first - but Bay starts throwing up . . .gallons. Gallons and gallons. It's everywhere - in her hair, in my hair, our shoes, and all over the floor. We're just soaked in the stuff. And I become a deer in the headlights. I don't even know what to do or where to start. As I'm standing there, horrified beyond belief, I just hear moms telling their kids not to get in it! While I'm still standing there petrified a few friends and Derek start bringing me paper towels - they're wiping me down, their trying to mop up this giant mess - and a few paper towels are not going cut it. So we're doing our best to clean up and in walks our friend with the giant mop and bucket (you know the one you never want to have anything to do with). So Bay and I head out to the car - where another friend gives me a gallon ziplock bag so I can strip Bay down. And we just wait for the rest of our family to come out. While I'm dealing with Bay, Tyler gets his Wolf and I miss it -though Derek did want Tyler to pin the 'mom's pin' right on me and my puke shirt! Derek gets Tyler a ride home with someone else so we can go home and end the horrification.

Poor Bay was really sick - after I scrubbed her to death - she climbed right in bed and went back to sleep.

The whole thing couldn't have been more embarrassing - and that was the whole goal of our family!

Notes to self for next year's Pine Wood Derby:

• Use electrical tape to add weights
• Tape weights on top of car
• Don't throw up

*Think this might win for longest post ever?*